Brewers, Crowns, and Samuel L.

May 31, 2009-
8:30 AM: I woke up with my clothes on from the night before. I figured the jeans were still clean enough to wear and a shower wasn't too necessary. I slammed a few glasses of water, a little bit of coffee that I decided didn't taste very good, then some more water. I made a phone call to my friend Sean, he informs me that he will be at my house in approximately 30 minutes to pick me up. At this point I figure there is enough time for a shower, but instead I spend the 30 minutes sitting on my porch putting down even more water. I attempt to smoke a cigarette, two puffs and it was on the ground(approximately 30cents wasted.)

9:03 AM: Sean finally arrives. He gives me the "What the hell did you do last night" look. I just laugh and tell him it was a good night, aided by watching grown men fight in a cage and a little, okay, alot of tequila. We make our way to my brothers house, good thing he's driving.

Now if you know my brother, leaving for the Brewer game at 9 o'clock means leaving somewhere around 10. We finally load up the car. We stop at Wal-Mart to get the finally items needed to throw the best tailgating gala of all time. We forget ice.

11:13 AM(approximately): We arrive at Miller Park. The first sip of beer is not delicious. It actually causes me to grimace. After Bloody Mary number 2 I feel a little better. Beer can actually go down. We wait for Sean's girlfriend to arrive with "Bags." Sean's "Bags" game looks like it was built by Bob Vila. There was enough wood used on it to build a small shanty. My friend John and I declare ourselves as the reigning champions because we won one game last time we played. So we take on Sean and Cory(my brother.)
We lose, no longer Champions of the World. I don't mind at all. At this time Sean's girlfriend is popping a bottle of champagne. It does not taste very good. I can only describe it as trying to drink chalk. The bottle did come with a very nice sized cork, however. I threw the cork at Cory, and the battle begins. The rules were simple, throw the cork at whoever you would like. No one was safe, not even the parking attendants wearing brightly colored shirts. Sean nearly hit one. I took a few shots with the cork to bare skin, both on the hands. It did not feel pleasant.

The corking seized, and we figured it was time to head into the ballgame. We entered and received our Trevor Hoffman bobbleheads. Of course we open them up and check to see if we had the limited edition pin-striped ones, but we did not. Don't worry, my luck would change.
We head to TGIFridays. For $7.50 you can order a large beer. For $8.50 you can order a LARGE long island. We took option number 2. We get to our seats, they were nice. I like bleachers.

The game took place, the Brewers won, John almost got in a fist fight over a stray bobblehead that was left behind, Sean's girlfriend and other girl kept trying to come sit on our laps(they had standing room only...) At one point during the game Mike Cameron was up to bat. I turned to John and said, here's a home run. Sure enough, Eric was right. He turns to me and says, "Dude, we are going to Potowatami." I don't disapprove. Trevor Hoffman comes in and strikes guys out like it's his job(I guess it is.) Brewers win!

The game ends, I walk by myself back to the car. I make friends with a few fans. I pat a guy on the back for wearing a Pete Rose jersey. I almost "cork" a Cubs fan. The only reason I didn't was fear of losing the cork and having the game come to a halt for good. I get back to the car, Cory gets corked.

After a few good corkings, throwing around someone else's football, and putting the Taylormade "Bags" game back in Sean's girlfriend's giant Eco-Van, we make our way to Potowatami. We kind of agree that we are all going to go our separate ways with about $20-60. I had $60. I lose a few dollars here and there on slot machines. I order a drink. I am amazed to find out they have Seagrams 7 coming out of a tap gun. I want that in my house. I am finally down to about $20 and decide I got one more machine in me. Cory comes and sits next to me and informs me he is down maybe $10. I tell him I am down nearly $60, but I said I'm feeling it. Down to probably my final few spins I push the button. The machine had about 30 squares on it and I found out that crowns were "wild". On this particular spin I had a full screen of crowns, except for the first row(there were 6 rows of 5 or something, Long Islands are pretty strong)
I tap Cory on the shoulder and say, "Wow, that looks good, eh?" He says, "Sure."
We watch the credits rise, they started out pretty slow. The bottom of the screen told me how much I had won, but it was in math form. Something like 400x6x18 or something. Math isn't my forte. At this point I turn around to see I have a crowd of people watching my screen. A heavier-set African American woman says, "Ooo boy, you got yo'self at least 300." Now I'm excited. I'm cheering as if I'm watching my horse come the final stretch of the Kentucky Derby, and he's winning. The credits start spinning faster. They finally stop, and when I print out the ticket it says $380.64. Not a bad day at the tracks.

I take my little ticket that is worth much more than a single piece of paper with some black ink should be, and bring it to Sean to show off. He is jealous of my success.
I cash it out at one of the electronic stations because a burly biker man informs me that it is safe to do so(I was worried the machine would short me or something... remember, Long Islands are strong)

Now I decide to walk over to the bar, I try to not smile and try to look cool. I have a slight swagger I'm sure and the weight of all of the money in my back pocket probably made me lean to my right side a bit. I order a Seagrams 7 and 7, once again amazed that they have Seagrams on tap!
I look to my right and see a guy that resembles Samuel L. Jackson. I don't think he looked like him, but I think the alcohol was acting in the same way it does when girls get progressively better looking the more you drink. The more I drank, the more he looked like Shaft. I engage in conversation, trying to be cool. I offer to buy him and his wife(Samuel L. would have a much better looking wife) a drink. He is drinking Jack on the rocks(They didn't have Jack Daniels on tap.) She is drinking something fruity, it was red. They were very nice people. I find out it's his birthday. He is 53. I would have guessed 41. These two were dressed very nice, I'm sure they didn't need me to buy them a drink.
Samuel L.'s wife asked how much I had won. She assumed I won money and wasn't just some very wealthy 20something kid buying celebrity look-a-likes drinks. I said, "Enough." She smiled. Then Samuel L. Jackson told me something that I will probably never forget. It sums up life in general. (Long Islands=Strong, maybe not word for word)
Samuel L.: "You know why you won that money, and why you probably win money often? It's because you're good people. You don't take your winnings and run, you want to go out and share it with people. That's a good way to live your life, man."
Me: "Yeah, I guess I'm kind of like Robin Hood, I steal from the rich... and... (I take a quick glance up at the very well dressed couple)... and... I give to the rich." He laughed a hearty laugh, shook my hand and I was on my way.

10:34 PM: Made it home, fell asleep, slept for a long time.